OCT 23, 16 .. I WAS HIT BY A PERFECT JOLT CALLED LIFE
As I work my process on my suicidal black hole, I am looking for some answers. I want to learn something and I want to share with you my thoughts as I process this event.
THE PERFECT JOLT is what hits many alcoholics, and I am assuming various addicts, when they become ‘clean and sober’.
They assume (here is this word again) that when they are ‘clean and sober’ all of life and its problems will just disappear and they will fly off into some perfect world.
Here is THE PERFECT JOLT.
IT AIN’T HAPPENING !
Drinking / Drugging are sometimes the reason people get involved in substance abuse in the first place. As an escape from life and its issues. When we pick-up our substance, the physiological component (our body demands more of our substance) kicks in and the road straight into hell is assured.
More than once Patti has been with / around me when I have hit a suicide wall. Never one time have I considered drinking alcohol. NEVER ONCE. Suicide? Yes sure! But not drinking.
IF you were to ask me,
“Cap? Should I kill myself or take a drink (or a drug)?”
If I judge they are totally serious, then 100% of the time I will say,
“Pick up a substance. Don’t kill yourself. If you drink or drug you have a chance to get ‘clean and sober’ again. If you kill yourself that-is-that, the end.”
Here is my self-analysis of my crash.
I was stressed out to the absolute max.
For a month I have been stressing out over Windows 10. That is a fact. Just the facts Ma’am. Trust me, I did nothing wrong buying a new laptop that came with Windows 10.
International travel and jet lag are real stressors for me. I couldn’t believe how stressed out I became over this trip. To combat the stress I was feeling I was wildly early (a day early) getting packed. I was at my Dubai airport departure gate B9, having successfully passed through immigration and security a full 2+ hours early. I did all I knew to combat the stress and was not totally successful. Then I could not post photos while I was waiting for my flight at the Dubai airport. Back I come to Windows 10.
I have not said much about my cell phone issues.
Patti and I (are addicted?) need to be in almost constant contact with one another. All was well and all was swell on this trip until I arrived in The Sultanate of Oman. The wheels came off on me. I did nothing wrong. My Dubai cell phone carrier hit me with horrendous roaming charges that shut my account down. I had Ahad immediately put 50 UAE Dirhams on my Dubai cell phone to stop that hemorrhaging and instantly it totally disappeared.
My Dubai cell phone was the only phone Patti could successfully call. So Patti was shut down completely. To this instant in time Patti cannot call me on my Oman Telephone cell phone. Why? I have no clue. Trust me on this, it is easier said than done to find out in the International world what is going on with one’s foreign country based cell phone.
Now all of our communications have to be originated by me. Thankfully I can call Patti and I can text Patti with my Oman cell phone.
The problem? At about (unbeknownst to me until I started to study it) 54-cents a minute, I suddenly gobbled up my pre-paid cell phone funding.
The problem? I did not have a clue as to how to re-charge it. So here I sat with my time running out and no way to re-charge my phone. I can and do text at 13-cents per text. But another stressor was hammering away at me!
My hotel is just great. I decided to extend my stay. Little did I know that I booked it through a website called Agora. I thought I was using TripAdvisor. I was but they use Agora.
Try as I might, and I can really try hard when something matters to me, I could not successfully negotiate with Agora to extend my time. Finally I took my laptop to the front desk and the manager and I together were able to figure things out. That was the good news. The bad news? I have to pay a higher rate to extend. Its only money but it upset me. It stressed me.
Have I ever mentioned that I do not do heat all that well.
It is hot here. I am doing OK but ..
Do all of you see? Do all of you get it? I was swirling in the midst of a Perfect Storm the answers to which I did not have.
To quote (again) ‘Iron Mike’ Tyson: Everybody’s got a plan until they get hit.
One thing went 100% perfectly AOK satisfactory.
My plan when in crisis is: Drink safe healthy liquids. For me dehydration is a life threatening issue. Get out. Do not isolate. Be with people. Eat food. Be rested (I am averaging 10-hours of good sleep a night).
“Iron Mike! I sure took a hit BUT my plan did not fail me.”
Windows 10 is 100% solved. I am staying with Windows 10. Why not? I am getting everything published including photos that I want to post. Once the uploading of photos was solved (By who? By God? I don’t know).
This morning I texted Patti and I told Patti my number one mission today, the 23rd of October 2016, was to get my Oman Telephone pre-paid cell phone re-charged so I can call Patti and we can talk to one another.
“How in the world do I do this?” I thought to myself.
I get along well with the staff here at the Qurum Beach Hotel. I like them and they respond well. They are beyond 10 on the 0 to 10 scale.
“I’ll ask the manager how I do this?”
“Sahib .. ” .. “I will take care of that for you.” .. “You need my phone number Sahib!” .. “No I don’t. I will take care of it for you.” .. “But ..” ..
“Go sit down over there Sir and wait.”
This is my hotel. I love my hotel. I love my Lobby. I did as I was told.
He got on his phone instantly and made a telephone call.
“It is taken care of Sir.” .. “But .. You haven’t my phone number.” ..
Here is faith in action. Trusting My Main Man the front desk manager, I texted Patti and told Patti that I WILL CALL HER at 12noon Oman time and 12 midnight in Anchorage.
With me sitting there on the couch absolutely dumbfounded, into the hotel came a man. He handed the front desk manager something. The front desk manager came over and sat down beside me.
“Sahib scratch off the covering. Call the number. Enter the code.
Voila. Talk about an Eskimo. I have money on my pre-paid plan.
And?
As I had promised to do, I called Patti at 12:02. We wanted to .. we didn’t .. both start crying.
“Captain I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden!”
/ signed / .. Life
What did I learn here?
I am no longer going to tax Patti with proof reading my Posts on my time schedule. I am going to publish them when I feel they are ready and Patti can proof read them on her own time schedule when she is ready and comfortable and not feel pressured by my time schedule.
So you see, I did nothing wrong. Life just happens to all of us.
I did not turn to any substance whatsoever.
“Iron Mike! I sure took a hit BUT my plan did not fail me.”
In case you haven’t noticed, over on Blogspot, I published two whopper posts both dated OCT 22, 16, 50-photos and 76-photos.
I sure took a hit and, still just a little bloody, I am rocking and rolling.
Now I’ve washed off the remaining blood with this Post.
Love Cap ..
- OCT 22, 16 .. LIVING WITH FRUSTRATION, POWERLESSNESS, HOPELESSNESS, ANGER
- OCT 25, 16 .. A POST REPLYING TO A GREAT COMMENT
8 thoughts on “OCT 23, 16 .. I WAS HIT BY A PERFECT JOLT CALLED LIFE”
Leave a Reply to cap chastain Cancel reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
It is a process getting into the hole and it is a process getting out of it. I am relieved that you know your process. And, the phone call, hearing your voice at midnight last night was a true blessing. I feel deeply indebted to that hotel manager! Nice that you are feeling more comfortable with Windows 10. Sometimes, when we know we are ‘stuck’ with something, we really CAN make the most of it … example, Windows 10! Smiles and love, Patti
Yes to the above. I too am so relieved to be back in touch if only for much shorter visits. The Dubai cell phone really jabbed me hard. Will see when back North in Dubai what is going on. It may just be roaming charges to the max. I too am indebted to my hotel manager from Chennai in South India! Smiles and Love, Cap
Trust me, Cap, the more you work with Win 10, the less frustrating it will be. You will soon forget about Win 7. I have. It’s good that you have your own computer with you, because it forces you to use it and learn the program, rather than going to an Internet cafe.
Yes, it’s frustrating when things don’t go our way, but that’s all it is, i.e., frustration. I saw a newspaper cartoon once that I clipped out and gave to Ken, who sometimes flipped out over mechanical repairs because things didn’t go to his liking. The cartoon showed a man working on a car and accidentally throwing a wrench through his window. The caption was, “Ken punishes his naughty tools.”
A friend, angry that his old chainsaw wouldn’t start, threw it across his yard. A year later, when he took it in to see if it could be repaired (it couldn’t), was told, “Oh, that’s too bad. This is one of the best saws ever made.”
So, the point is we sometimes give our frustrations more weight than they are worth.
One more thing to consider: Just who is it that needs to be in constant phone contact with the other?
Kudos to letting Patti proof read on her schedule. She, too, has a life apart from yours. All couples do. Post when you’re ready, even if the post isn’t perfect. When I do that and later on discover typos, I call it “post haste.”
Consider my inappropriate remarks deleted.
Lord God what inappropriate remarks are you talking about? The above ones? Great, spot on, to the point remarks.
I thank you for your remarks and for your interest.
NO way will I delete them. NO WAY. Smiles, Cap
I replied to your great comments in a special Post dated OCT 25, 16. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Cap
Is it possible the Windows 10 issue with uploading pictures is actually a WiFi restriction on certain activity conducted on that WiFi’s network rather than a Window’s 10 issue?
I do not know a lot about it and may be way off, but I think certain WiFi networks restrict certain activities on their WiFi networks. So maybe you were using a WiFi network(s) that would not allow the uploading of picture files since the problem seemed to automatically correct itself on a different WiFi network.
I thought about that Chad. The problem was, prior to that time, I had no problems. Yes I thought maybe the Dubai Int’l Airport had restrictions like you mention but they began at the Al Farej Hotel before I went out to DXB. Then they followed me here to Oman.
If you will read my Post OCT 25, 16 you will see the answer.
Chad the answer was the difference between a left click and my suddenly using a right click of my mouse at one critical point in the photo uploading process.
That was that Chad. Wow huh? Thanks Chad. Cap