WHAT IS GOD’S WILL FOR EACH OF US?
One theo-philosophical theory is that .. with discernment .. we do what is in front of us to do. The idea being that God will put in front of us actions which God would have us perform.
In the below story .. I just kept doing what was in-front-of-me to do.
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THE 1990 STORY OF MY GOING TO INDIA ..
The story of my being ‘called to go to India’ began May 12th 1990.. a Saturday.
I was sitting in the conference room of the agency from whom I had retired. I was facing West when .. out-of-the-blue .. came a powerful thought ..
I believe that it was God that ‘said to me’ .. INDIA..
Looking skyward I said .. “Forget that idea God.. I did NOT lose anything in India” ..
From that instant around 11AM on May 12, 1990 to August 25, 1990, AMAZING THINGS HAPPENED BETWEEN GOD AND MYSELF in which I feel that GOD MADE IT CLEAR to me that God’s will for me was for me to go to INDIA.
The following Tuesday .. three days after ‘The Calling’ .. over lunch .. a former professional associate asked me .. “Cap what’s new?” .. I said “I believe that last Saturday I received a God-Calling to go to India.” He smiled and said .. “That is interesting. Come back with me after lunch and meet Mr. V. K. Sondhi on my staff.”
I did and ‘V. K.’ said .. “That is wonderful! I have cousins in New Delhi India and I will write them immediately and arrange a place for you to stay in New Delhi.” I thanked him saying that I was not going to India and for him not to bother contacting his cousins.
Towards the end of May 1990 ‘V. K.’ confirmed with me that indeed I had a place to stay with his related family in New Delhi. Again I said thanks but that I was not going to India.
I did think .. “How interesting .. I have a place to stay in New Delhi India in a home with the family of a friend here in San Francisco.”
I left San Francisco and traveled throughout the Southern states and then went North to my home-of-birth in the Detroit Michigan area.
In early July of 1990 I was in Royal Oak Michigan in the home of my birth. I had a telephone conversation with ‘V. K.’ during which he gave me details of the family in New Delhi and then asked me IF I would be willing to visit the daughter of the family in New Delhi who was living with her husband and children in the Pittsburgh Pennsylvania area.
I telephoned the family in New Delhi India .. spoke with them .. told them with the Gulf War threatening in Kuwait and Iraq that I was not coming to India .. and thanked them for their offered hospitality. They ‘smiled over the phone’ and said “Not to worry about the war and to come and stay with them.” As I hung the phone up I thought “NO WAY!”
Back to visiting their daughter and her family in Pittsburgh.
It ‘so happened’ that I was planning to visit my son in Washington DC and would be staying at a Motel ‘6’ in Mars Pennsylvania near Pittsburgh en route to break the 12 hour trip in half. I said “Sure. Why not.” I got the details .. telephoned Vinod and Mahu Bhasin and arranged to telephone them from my Motel ‘6’ in Mars PA on July 4th.
I did .. they came to meet me .. and instead of spending the 30-minutes I had told my son I would be spending with them .. I ended up spending 8-hours with them enjoying their hospitality and home-cooked authentic Indian food!
As I left them and motored East to Washington DC I did say to God .. “Well God. Not only have you arranged me a place to stay in New Delhi India and judging from their daughter and her family the people in India are very nice people.” But I am not going to India God.
I got into Washington DC early in the morning of July 5th. My son said .. “What’s up Dad?” .. I said “India” .. he said .. “I know precisely where the Embassy of India is and will drive you there in the morning! It is a busy area and I can double-park and wait for you.”
I thought to myself .. “Oh God of Abraham .. what IS UP HERE?!”
August 21st of 1990.. a Tuesday evening.. I said to God.. “GOD I GET IT.. YOU WANT ME TO GO TO INDIA!.. WELL HOTSHOT!.. What do you want me to do about my senile father whom I .. as his only living relative.. am caretaking?!”
“Really!” sayeth God..
By Tuesday.. August 21st.. 1990.. God had provided me with a Passport with a Visa to enter India.. God had provided me with a family to stay with in New Delhi.. a nice family I had spoken with by telephone telling them I was NOT coming to India! .. God had introduced me personally to the relatives in the States of the family in India.. God had prepped and God had laid out the road to India.. with me saying.. NO.. NO GOD.. NO.. yet going along with God at the same time..
Just prior to my dictate to God on Tuesday.. August 21st, 1990, wherein I demanded from God.. “God.. what do you want me to do with my father?” whom I was caretaking.. and who I did not feel I could up and abandon and go to India..
Just prior to that demand.. probably during the night of Monday.. August the 20th, 1990.. I had an amazing vision..
I was at the base of a stone monolith.. like a castle of ancient times.. huge rocks embedded in a mortar matrix..
I looked up.. I could not see the top..
I looked left.. i could not see the end to the left..
I looked right.. I could not see the end to the right..
Then .. in front of me .. with an neon glowing edge .. was an opening in this IMPOSSIBLY ENORMOUS MONOLITH.. this opening was shaped like one half of a football.. elliptical .. a thought .. not a voice.. transmitted to me the following thought..
“I can not force you to walk through this opening.. NO.. you MUST choose to do so.. BUT.. IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO PASS THROUGH.. the opening will disappear and will NEVER AGAIN RE-APPEAR..”
It was then that I said to God.. “God.. I know you want me to go to India.. but what do I do with my father?” ..
OK.. I booked the trip and I went.. coming into India on October 31r.. 1990.. TO DO WORK WITH RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS AND DRUG ADDICTS..
THAT.. OH THAT.. WAS A DISASTER.. each hour and a half meeting was smoke filled (everyone smoked two cigarettes at time).. they wanted me to lead each and to lead every single meeting.. IT WAS HORRIBLE..
IN February of 1991 I said to God.. “This ain’t the happening scene you want me here for is it God?!”
BAM.. ENTER RON KENWORTHY INTO MY LIFE.. like within hours..
MEDITATION.. MEDITATION.. THAT IS IT HUH GOD.. YOU WANT ME TO STUDY MEDITATION..
Off I went with Ron Kenworthy to Jaipur.. to the Vipassana Institute.. it did NOT fit me…
Off I went to Pune.. to Osho’s Multiversity (the former Bagwan Rajnesh of Oregon with the 17 Rolls Royces).. Osho’s gig did not fit with me..
Off I went to Ganeshpuri north of Bombay.. it did NOT fit for me.. Guru Dev Sedda Peth and Guru Mayi.. it did NOT fit for me..
Off I went to Sri Satcha Sai Baba in Puttaparti a five hour bus ride from hell out of Bangalore.. Gate 10.. Hello J.P. Hegde Stanford University Professor.. it did NOT fit for me..
Sometime in March of 1991.. staying in Pune.. South of Bombay.. at the National Hotel.. across from the India Railway Station. I said to God..”Lord God of Abraham.. My Creator.. it.. this.. has something to do with MEDITATION doesn’t it God?”
All I heard from above was a loud.. SIGH..
So I said to God.. “Lord God.. I can NOT sit in these scrunched up positions for minutes let alone for hours.. I can NOT go with no sleep.. I can NOT go with no liquids.. I can NOT go with no food.. I can NOT go with no speaking.. I can NOT go with no eye contact.. I can NOT go with worshipping Durga with her eight or ten arms.. I can NOT go with Osho and his Aids Testing and his money gig..
Lord God I know all of this has something to do with MEDITATION.. so Lord God.. tomorrow morning I will attempt this ONE thing.. I will sit.. in a chair.. for one hour.. LORD GOD I WILL SIT.. IN A CHAIR.. FOR ONE HOUR.. I will DO the tee-tee and the sit down things.. BUT I will have a fan.. water.. a wash cloth.. books to read.. every colored pen known to man.. paper.. a CLOCK to time out my one hour.. I will be in the early morning shade.. so help me GOD I will sit for one hour..
I had everything set out.. two tables, nice chair.. and all I could possibly think of to entertain myself.. My time came.. 8AM.. and I began..
I SAT.. hummmm.. what does Guru mean.. I looked it up in my dictionary.. Guru.. (n) Hindi Spiritual teacher.. not a four letter word at all (who do you think you are.. some f……g Guru!)..
Meditation.. To think quietly and deeply..
NO POSITIONS REQUIRED.. NO LACK OF FOOD OR LIQUIDS OR SLEEP OR ANY DEPRIVATION..
AND I PICKED UP MY PEN AND I SET OUT MY PAPER AND I BEGAN TO WRITE..
SEVEN AND ONE HALF HOURS LATER (7 1/2 HOURS) I WAS STILL SITTING IN THE CHAIR.. WRITING.. LIKE I AM DOING RIGHT NOW..
AND I EXCLAIMED..
“OH MY GOD I GET IT.. MY MEDITATION WILL BE MY STREAM-OF-CONSCIOUSNESS-WRITING”
NO SOUND.. NO VOICE.. BUT I FELT A VERY DEEP SMILE COME RADIATING DOWN MY WAY.. ‘LITTLE CAPTAIN YOU GOT IT!”
So when I sit down.. as I just have done.. THE 1990 STORY GOING TO INDIA – I and II .. and begin to write.. I am doing my MEDITATION..
AND.. YOU ARE ALL INVITED IN..
BECAUSE POSSIBLY.. JUST POSSIBLY.. ONE OF YOU WILL GET IT.. OR ONE OF YOU WILL THINK.. HUMMMMMMM..
AND I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH.. Cap..
- CALCUTTA COCKROACHES .. SEP 17/11
- SWINDOLL/ATTITUDE/ROACHES .. SEP 18/11