JUN 1, 23 .. POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (PTSD)
Since my fall last Saturday the 27th of May, I have been having some (call them) bothersome emotional or mental issues.
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From yesterday’s Post..
This bad fall last Saturday has certainly affected, and depressed me. I am stunned that, as hard as I have been trying for MANY years now, I again had a terrible fall. Yes Oh Yes, Of Course I am grateful that I did not die. I actually “got off lucky” with some minor aches and pains showing up as the days pass.
This is depression speaking..
This afternoon, sitting with Patti in our living room, I quietly asked Patti.. “Let’s assume that I died last Saturday and you are sitting here, alone in our Condo. You are thinking to yourself .. ‘If Cap were only alive we could be doing …. “. Patti replied .. “We could be in the bedroom, me reading my newspaper while you were taking a nap beside me as we so often do.” .. “I would ask you, or you would ask me, I would like you to read to me.”
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So just now, I went online to explore PTSD and no, for many reasons, I do not, at this juncture, qualify for having PTSD.
Below is a link to the Mayo Clinic online discussion of PTSD.
When I see my Veteran’s Administration (VA) primary care Doctor this upcoming Thursday, June the 8th, I may bring it up. Why not? Oh Yes!
The VA IS the place to ask about PTSD.
There! I “Dared To Talk About An Elephant In My Living Room”. That’s a beginning. The acknowledgement that something isn’t quite right.
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Today Patti and I are “Eagerly Looking Forward” to the beginning of the NBA Basketball Finals which begin tonight. The Miami Heat vs The Denver Nuggets. Best of 7 series.
On the somber side, this afternoon we are going to a Memorial Service for a friend who unexpectedly passed away recently. I was just nine days his senior. Far too many friends are dropping by the wayside!
Cap and Patti
8 thoughts on “JUN 1, 23 .. POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (PTSD)”
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I’m glad you are going to talk to them about it. I’m glad you let the ‘cat out of the bag.’ Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Although the ‘elephant in the room’ is more apt as the cat can wind around your ankles and trip you too. I am sure my demise will come from me backing away from the kitchen counter and tripping over an unseen animal, then hitting my head on the hard ceramic tile or a corner of the table. When I have backed up and nearly tripped over them (usually the cats but previously the dogs), I felt like the hand of an angel guided me to safety. I try to remember to turn around these days as I have 3 cats who love to be around me. I will pray for some angels to keep close tabs on you.
Thanks so very much Kathleen for your comment. We just NEVER know do we. Oh yes one of your pets could sure trip you! Then down you go not knowing what will happen. Cap and Patti
Not to diminish the serious implications of your fall, but I do think there is a vast difference between PTSD and having a reaction to a situation in which we were in danger. I owned/operated a lodge for seven years and I continue to have nightmares about that operation. Is that PTSD?
I have nightmares about needing to make an important telephone call and am unable to for various reasons — misdialling, busy signals, etc. Is that why I am not a “phone person?” Is that why my blood pressure goes up when I have those difficulties in real life? Is that PTSD in some form?
I don’t think so. I think they are just reactions that work their way into my dreams. I think it’s natural to have reactions. Hopefully without nightmares to accompany them, though.
One thing, though: If you’d died in your fall, you’d never be aware of it.
Gullible I do not know about what PTSD is or isn’t.
The Mayo Clinic wrote : Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it.
This I know : After falling last Saturday, which was for both of us a terrifying event, I have had a disturbing to me (not to you or anyone else) mental / emotional frame of mind. As I just said, for BOTH Patti and myself it was a terrifying event. Much more so for Patti. I had to tend to, and reassure, Patti after MY fall. She would agree. As always we appreciate your thoughts and input Gullible. Cap and Patti.
I guess I take a more narrow definition of PTSD, that being the horrific experiences of our men at war. If I broaden that definition, it seems to diminish or dilute what they have gone through, and I just can’t do that.
Every one of us goes through events in our lives that affect us negatively. Some sail through them while others are so deeply affected they lapse into depression or bad moods.
To this day I cannot watch movies or read books about Alzheimer’s or its related diseases. I become exceedingly angry when they portray its victims as happy and especially its caretakers as being comforted by events.
I am aware of your terror of falling; I am aware of your propensity to be deeply affected by negative events. I, too, suffered the extreme highs and lows when I was much younger (teens and twenties) and was diagnosed as manic depressive. I found my emotions impossible to comprehend or live with.
What I did find was writing. By putting those events, those emotions, those mental challenges down on paper—trapping them, so to speak—I could knock them down to a size I could deal with. It was quite therapeutic, that getting them out of me helped me to see and unravel their nefarious mystery and let me find a way to handle them.
When I got home from “unsticking” myself, after I cleaned up and relaxed a bit, I took to the keyboard and got it out of me. Then I went to bed and slept for a long time. Now I feel chagrined. Chagrined for getting in that mess to begin with and chagrined for taking to social media and letting the world know.
But! It’s worth my very public display of foolishness to be rid of the anxiety. I will admit that I continue to feel sobered by the event but some bird watching will bring me out of it. The cygnets are due any day at Tern Lake. Bird watching is terrific therapy.
I think that is what you are now doing by writing in your blog. Continue it as long as you need. We’re here as your sounding boards.
Thanks so very much for your thoughtful and intense comment Gullible. This reply is not a reply per sé to your comment. This is to simply let you know that I have read your comment, re-read your comment, and done so several more times, as well as having discussed it at great lengths with Patti. Happy to have you as a sounding board Gullible. Cap
Cap and Patti….thank you for the phone call and updating me on attending John O’s memorial! I do know Loren. We’ve met in passing a few times! I like him a lot. I believe he winters in and around the AZ desert, yes? I seem to vaguely recall Esther. We’re all family and it’s rejuvenating to celebrate each other’s journey. A celebration of life. I’m sure John would have wanted us gather for just that sole purpose! The memorial sounded to be very emotionally heartwarming!
I do detect some mental and emotional downturn in your voice, Cap. Yet I’m grateful (so are you and Patti) that it did not cause irreparable harm or injury to you. I sent you the link of Bruce Springsteen falling hard, and now today Joe (our POTUS) trips and falls hard onstage. What did they both do? Picked themselves right back up, dusted themselves off, and laughed! Laughter, the best darn Rx to get through a speedy recovery.
I lost interest with the NBA game by the end of the 2nd quarter when it was evident Denver was the better team tonight. Miami’s going to have to change something in both defense and offense to keep up with Denver.
7 more days left of my Sip-n-Save Froster’s! lol I’ll be curious to hear of the level of service and response you get from your VA care. Great to know you have made that connection!
Have a Truly Blessed evening my dear friends!
Hugs and xoxo,
Michael
Happy you know Loren Michael. He really was a wonderful and polished host of John’s Memorial Service. I watched the videos of Bruce Springsteen’s falls. Frankly it looked more like he just tripped on the top step and “went down” NOT in a life threatening manner. HE did seem to be (initially) stunned as he lay on his back and seemed to need assistance getting up. Denver was the best team for sure in Game 1. I too am interested in what the V.A. medical team have to say. Thanks to you I am now IN the V.A. system of health care to the extent I am qualified. Smiles .. Cap and Patti